dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
