but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
