6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Shame - the story of my life.
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