Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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