After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
