why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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