he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
