i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think I won the penis lottery.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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