Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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