at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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