3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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