I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
