so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
