gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
