before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
