Dual....:-)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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