Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
