I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
