Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
