I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
