And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My pussy is not your playground.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
