Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
