Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
