You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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