I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
