OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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