it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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