Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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