right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
