My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
