I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
