Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
