Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Will you blow on my dice?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
