I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
