oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
