i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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