But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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