It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
