I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
