he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
