I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So squirting runs in the family.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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