Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
