i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
