he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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