Yo dont text me then not text me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
