The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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