somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
