she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
