glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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