Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
