My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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